Intermission and a message for the audience

To everyone who is awaiting the next PoN review with bated breath, stay tuned! Last couple of weeks have been hectic and rife with birthdays, work-related trivia, Langrisser addiction, reading marathons, writing marathons, and rumblings in the interior. As a courtesy to you, my loyal reader, here is a short update.

What I am reviewing; I have decided to tackle Stewart and Scrapprincess’s ecletic avant-garde rpg IED Fire on the Velvet Horizon and I want to do a good job at it, as such I only read a few entries each day so I can get the full effect.

What I am working on; I am pleased to announce that me and Malrex have started work on a second as of yet unnamed Adventure. We are still in the designing phase but I am happy to divulage it will be taking place in THE AGE OF DUSK. A world of world-wracking sorcery, horrors garbed in the stolen flesh of dead gods and violent, blood-drenched heroism. If you were waiting for the Zweihander conversion of Red Prophet Rises fear not, at the risk of sounding like G.R.R Martin, it is, in fact, coming!

Shoutouts; I don’t usually do this but I want to take the time to thank, among some others, the gentlemen who goes by the name of Quietus for taking the time to mention this blog online for what I believe to be the second or third time now. A lot of exposure on this scale comes from word to mouth, and without my audience, this blog would not exist.

Refutation and Rebuttals; Some poor, incompetent Latin journalist for what appears to be a catholic clickbait website has chosen to showcase my most popular review as part of yet another mischaracterization of our hobby, following sweatily along in the by now cob-web covered 40 year old wake of Jack Chick and his malicious band of hysterics, pearl-clutchers and tin-foil hat-wearing morons. Since I was not contacted for commentary, nor offered a complementary case of sangria in exchange for my silence (something I am told the Catholic church should be well versed in), allow me to set the record straight (or as straight as it is likely to get with only google translate to help me).

The relevant portion may be found here.

El mundo de los RPG está lleno de referencias ocultistas, metáforas interminables, nombres de seres de leyenda, no faltarán los duendes, hadas y gnomos, aderezados con espiritualidad “new age”, un meandro narcisista casi incomprendido para aquellos que los aficionados a los RPG definen como “no iniciados”. Un mundo en el que los pseudónimos de todo tipo y color abundan y en el que seguramente sea casi imposible acceder a quién es quién detrás de esas máscaras “mitológicas”.

Google translation;
The world of RPGs is full of occult references, endless metaphors, names of beings of legend, there will be plenty of elves, fairies and gnomes, seasoned with “new age” spirituality, a narcissistic meander almost misunderstood for those who love RPG define as “not initiated.” A world in which pseudonyms of all types and colors abound and in which it is almost impossible to access who is who behind those “mythological” masks.

(Sinister background music playing).
Dentro “la comunidad” de los “iniciados” y aficionados a los RPG se levantan duras disputas en los que los adjetivos suelen ser duros, seguramente por parte de aquellos que quizás se habrán visto perjudicados por algún “Máster”, una muestra de uno de los tantos blogs que podemos encontrar como muestra de ello es este: pero hay miles.

Which translates roughly as;

Within “the community” of the “initiates” and fans of the RPG, there are tough disputes in which the adjectives are usually harsh, probably on the part of those who may have been harmed by some “Master’s”, a sample of one of the many blogs that we can find as a sample of it is this: -a-roll / but there are thousands…

To set the record straight. No I have not been “harmed” while playing DnD with John Tarnowski. The closest thing to harm he has ever inflicted upon me is the Arrows of Indra core rulebook, which was admittedly as cruel an assault on spirit and sanity as one can humanly devise, but I am still here, unbowed and unbroken. If anything, I have been the initiator of force in all our interactions. While it is probable he has in fact attempted to unleash upon me the rune magickal retribution I so brazenly call upon myself by mocking him and calling him out for copying large swathes of the work of M.A. Barker’s Tekumél and passing it off as his own, I am unharmed for two main reasons;

1) I have knowledge of the offending magician’s true name, thereby granting me almost total immunity to his perfidious enchantments and sinister incantations.

2) Magic is not real you fucking idiots.

The article repeats verbatim the hysterical fears of the late 80s, muddled by time, amplified by that Tom Hanks movie and made all the more ridiculous with decades of research behind it. While I am doubtful the author in question is capable of being persuaded by anything but Divine Intervention from On High, let me give my two cents for the benefit of the audience.

I find it questionable the author has ever experienced a roleplaying game, and if he did, I doubt he understood what was going on. While you could probably find some evidence of screwed up people gravitating towards roleplaying games, the same could be said of any other sort of nerdly pasttimes like Magic the Gathering, video games, wargames or whathaveyou. You can probably make a case for the presence of an above average number of retards, finger-sniffers, neckbeards, snowflakes, nazi-larpers, degenerates and other undesirables in the hobby. However, this does not mean RPGs make you retarded.

I’d argue roleplaying games are about as harmful as any other form of complex divertation, that is to say, anyone indulging in them runs the risk of spending a lot of time and cognitive effort on what is for the most part, pure entertainment without any sort of real life application or benefit (though I suppose a child could be taught to think out of the box or an adult could improve his social or teamwork skills via roleplaying games).

Anyone who has ever actually played an rpg in real life knows it is little different from a group of friends who get together every few weeks for an unusually intense and dedicated game of canasta, just imagine everyone talking exclusively in Lord of the Rings references and wearing funny hats while they are doing so.

Spiritual corruption is all too common in this decadent postmodern age. Drugs, fatalism, divorce, ennui, moral relativism, political correctness, feminism, polyamory, the relentless, unceasing progressivist propaganda barrage of Hollywood, fur faggotry, national socialism, identity politics and Arrows of Indra.  It never ceases to amaze me how fucking OFF THE MARK the catholics keep being in identifying and combating these treats. Let’s stop persecuting some kids that just want to use their imagination and focus on the real enemy: anime.


8 thoughts on “Intermission and a message for the audience

  1. [What I am working on]

    I’m glad to hear it. More adventures like The Red Prophet Rises is what we need. What systems are you planning to release it for? For Gold & Glory + Zweihänder?


    That’s me. You’re welcome. 🙂

    [Refutation and Rebuttals]

    I was nodding in agreement until your last sentence. Now I’m thinking of sacrificing a black rooster to curse you, once I finish watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.


    1. [working]

      Labyrinth Lord initially (we decided it would probably be a good idea to publish these things in a format that serves our purposes without being fucking dead as ditchwater and there are too many retroclones as it is). Zweihander depending on format compatibility (I don’t know how well it does in hexcrawl format but I might consult old WHFRP adventures for inspiration/troubleshooting).




      Hahaha Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures is naturally exempt from all criticism. The second half of the Pillar men arc might be the best damn thing ever put to the chinese cartoon screen.


      1. [working]

        That’s a good choice, especially with the coming of the compiled Advanced Labyrinth Lord. Not sure how much momentum it will gain though, considering how minimal the communication is on Goblinoid Games’ side.


        Consider yourself spared then. The Pillar Men arc and the final battle of Stardust Crusaders are my favorites. Joseph is my all-time favorite JoJo, mostly because he isn’t an overpowered Mary Sue, and has to use his cunning to win. Plus he is a likeable jerk – not as bland as his grandfather or grandson.


  2. The only way I can process this latest development is to assume that all your trips to Canada were really to Uruguay, and that you and Pundejo are playing some king of masterfully long con. Maybe you are the coked-up ghost-writer who has been throwing Lion&Dragon spare parts in the face of unconsenting audiences every week or so.

    Or, more likely, Tarnoswki did it all by himself (an article like “El Nuevo Partido Comunista del Uruguay: ¿Una secta coercitiva?” by the same author would certainly be in his ballpark).


    1. That would have to be some Vladimir Harkonnen tier wheels-within-wheels shit in order for it to work. The planner would have be a virtual genius to pull it off. The mere possibility is so ridiculous I cannot even be bothered to refute it or provide any easily obtainable evidence to the contrary that is certainly in my possession, I simply will not show it. No sir!

      Currently smoking; Tlaloc’s Tobacco of Obfuscated Designs


  3. You should update the Dark Albion review to have a link to this page near the top, or they probably won’t see this. Not that you’re going to get traction with the sort of people who are constantly afraid of demonic possession.

    Or you could just turn them all into frogs. I mean, what’s the point of becoming a GM if you can’t use your Satanic powers to afflict the faithful?

    Liked by 1 person

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