As requested, a transcript of the letters of two of those three black-hearted necromancers currently active in the borderlands of the OSR. The corruption goes much deeper then we could have dreamed. We can only pray that all OSRmen will have the spiritual strength and moral fortitude to fight off any attacks by this corrosive evil with head held high! Presented without further commentary:
To my friend and companion D.F.,
Fortuitous news. As per our previous discussions I did locate ye corpse of E.G.G. in ye tomb of Lake Geneva and distill’d it to its essential saltes so it can be called uppe for ye conquest of ye OSR. Having dyed my haire pinke, pierced ye ears grotesquely and foresworn ye razor and ye deodorant so mine body is prepared for instituting ye ROBOT RAEPE. I must have a suitable Sacrifice! If successful, ye corpse of E.G.G. may be called up and compelled to work mine designs. Be on the lookout! Whilst unearthing ye corpse of E.G.G. in ye cairn of Lake Geneva I espied our enemy J.T. unearthing ye corpse of M.A. Barker also, and having carried it off wholly into the night. He must not be allowed to interfere with our plans! Fortunately his theft was discovered and he was much rankled by the discovery.
Curious about your thoughts on Z. Wearing also plentiful tattoos and having foresworn ye deodorant he might foster designs for a similar ROBOT RAEPE also. Should send out call for alliance or order minions to feign harassment as per usual methodology. Z. being agressive and loathsome, it will not be difficult to find support thereby.
Thine brother in Darkness,
Our plan proceedeth for ye Conquest of ye OSR! By extreme coincidence, having located ye corpses of Priestly, Davis & Bambra and in ye Crypt of Minnesota, with ye Outer Dwellers of Law aslumber in limbo, was able to harvest sufficient materials for a partial Resurrection thereby, with very promising results. Having spied J.T. in ye Crypt unearthing the same corpse before me, am convinced he is a threat to be dealt with. Did don a fascimile to haunt his dwellings and did reread ye Book of False Flags accordingly. Care must be taken with J.T. him no stranger to Ye Book of False Flags himself, having employed it liberally in his ancient wars with detractors. For many faces will bear the will of J.T. wherever he is found!
Wish you good luck in enacting YE ROBOT RAEPE. Remind you in ensuring that ye X-Card be present during ye enaction of YE ROBOT RAEPE as I showed thee, lest terrible retribution befall you at ye conclusion thereof!
Am most impressed with Z. Having seen blackest works of necromancy cloaked in threadbare skins of virtue it is marvelous how he has plied his arts in YE OPEN. Will consider alliance or await appropriate time to turn on him when the community grows weary of his antics.
Kansas City 2017
To my dearest confidante D.F.,
Tarnation! Having called uppe ye corpse of E.G.G. and gained much standing thereby, ye OSRmen spurn and reject the simulacrum, refusing to accept its reality, and demanding much of ‘gameplay’ and ‘stakes’ and other such rubbish. Having been rebuked most shamefully, I have instructed my familiars to cry much of mysoginy and racialism, so that they may be isolated and our followers do not heed their warnings overmuch. Ye conflict with Z. is escalating most quickly and I am aggrieved, for unlike J.T. there are many who heed his foul cries. Having instituted ye whisperings of abuse visible and naught. As the stars are nearing, I yearn to enact ye ROBOT RAEPE and have procured ye neccesary X-cards and table and polyhedral apparati.
Was good to finally meet and collaborate on ideas of ye conquest of ye OSR. Let me know if you have any ideas to deal with J.T. His abuse grows wearisome. I still think we should involve ye authorities. The Law has ever been our closest ally, and it cannot be doubted that J.T. is a thief!
To mine companion in Blackest Infamy A.K.,
Sing praises to ye Outer Ones! The Stars have never been more right! It appears Z., in ye eagerness in enacting ye ROBOT RAEPE, miscalculated drastically and enacted instead ye HUMAN RAEPE, the X-card providing no protection therefrom. A pitchfork wielding mob has descended upon his lair, crying much of blood and undoing a decade of witchery in one fiery swoop. Now is the time! Ensure our operatives are in the crowd, and that all previous claims are made to appear valid. Ye King R. is undone most infamously, bringing much joye, him also having called uppe ye corpses of Priestly, Davis & Bambra to great effect and being a rival thereby.
Having taken this moment to start a campaign against the works of J.T. and having taken much pains to associate J.T. with Z.’s unmasking. Spouting the usual noises of virtue and inclusion to assuage accusations of cynical opportunism has gained me much in the ways of following. How wondrously effective is the banner of virtue when it is wielded by hands unchecked by it.
Whatever happens, while it is unknown WHY THERE ARE ALMOST NAUGHT OF THIRD PARTY PRODUCTS for ye thing I called uppe, all will be well.
Take note to stir up what few of the OSRmen can be stirred against any soft targets. Confusion is our greatest ally! I believe some imbecile in J.T.’s ranks may have identified as a Zak’ier.
Ours shall be dominion over all.
Kansas City 2019
To my only hope D.F.,
Disaster! For a time our victory seemed most certain. Having called uppe ye shade of E.G.G. and having attracted many followers thereby, I did finally find a suitable sacrifice and enacted ye ROBOT RAEPE thereon. Cackling evilly, I called up ye ROBOT and enacted ye RAEPE only to be reprimanded viciously and find many a pitchfork wielding mob arrayed against me!
Despair reigns! Surely I did prepare ye X-card so as to defer any spiritual blame for ye ROBOT RAEPE?!? Why must I be held accountable to the laws of lesser, binary men? Verily tears stain my book of spells and I have shorn my beard and pink mohawk in shame at discovery.
It is worst that J.T. has chosen this time to strike most viciously and evilly at my person, swearing revenge eternal and dispelling entirely my finely conjured illusions of decency.
You stumbling imbecile A.K.,
Ours was to be the kingdom! Having unmasked Z. his infamy could have been spread to all others of his former supporters, and we much profiting therefrom. Instead you bumble most ingloriously, and reveal of our truest nature all too much.
At times fortune must be compelled. It ‘appears’ J.T. has assumed ye facsimile again and haunted much my personal domain at just this moment of your infamy. It is at last time that he be ‘exposed’ and his black evil dealt with. How FORTUITOUS that he attack in such ignoble and cowardly fashion at just this time, and using a recognizable art from the Book of False Flags that I have used on him previously. It is most uncharacteristically foolish of him to cross the line so brazenly, when his attack upon you was all but irresistible. Most foolish of him indeed, and most coincidentally beneficial for us. We can dispense with any sort of show trial or careful investigation. Inform ye Kreider and other of such gibbering horrors we dredged up from the Loathsome Abysses that they are to deflect all accusations against YOU and point to general infamy FROM HIM.
Perhaps we can stir up sufficient of a mob to deal with J.T. once and for all, but I find it doubtful. J.T. is much hated but the enemy is learning and our schemes grow trite and stale. The Book of False Flags is less obscure then it once was. We must pursue different options.
Do not fail again.
Kansas City 2020
Well that we heed and repel such horrors, lest we become subsumed by them.
16 thoughts on “The Case of John Daniel Koebel”
Who are JT and DF? AK = Adam Koebel, Z is obvious.
I can’t give it away, that would spoil it. I have peppered the manuscript with several hints so as to allow you to discern the identity of the mysterious D.F. as well as the pernicious J.T. and his dastardly schemes.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA It took ke a minute to parse the references, but I’m loving it!
Please to god is this another Zack post? I only came into the OSR scene a few years ago, but I feel like this has been going on forever. At this point I don’t think he was a real person but instead some memetic beast that would make Philip K Dick blanche in envy.
And this situation sounds like a convoluted conspiracy
Unfortunately, as current events have shown in various parts of the world, people tend to overestimate just how brazenly a corrupt cult can get away with acting if the leaders are willing to shout louder than their opposition.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t get DF, but it was still a great read. Additional thumbs up for styling it around Herbert West; that story usually gets overlooked in favor of its more famous companions, but I rather liked it.
Read about the whole thing over at Vengers blog and was already wondering if you’d do your piece.
Glad you did 😉
Let me make some guesses as to who’s who in this tragedy.
For A.K., Z., and the King R.no gues is necessary as it should be clear who these illustrious ones are.
D.F. I might say is a mighty scribe that transcribed many a word from older sources into a modern dress. Though his choice of weapon seems rather strange concering the source from which he draws most?
J.T. might be the one also known as K.U. … mightiest one among those lords that preoccupy themselves mainly with manure and other products of less than noble origin?
Preposterous. Clearly I am just writing a harmless story about necromancers with a vague resemblance to no particular contemporary rpg writers of verifiably unscrupulous nature using Lovecraft’s The Case of Charles Dexter Ward as template.
Dammit, I always seem to mix up Ward and West.
Ah … my bad I see now.
Must be one of those cases where the imagination runs wild and comes to crazy conclusions … sadly a one of the more common mistakes in our esteemed profession.
Pay my inane ramblings no more mind then …
“It appears Z., in ye eagerness in enacting ye ROBOT RAEPE, miscalculated drastically and enacted instead ye HUMAN RAEPE, the X-card providing no protection therefrom”
On a more serious note, the above quote is brilliant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Verily, I am ashamed to have understood all of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaha and you thought this hobby was going to be fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, JT took me some time because I generally think of him by his aliases.
A. K. took me a moment. I generally hear of these people from their downfall and the subsequent public humiliation, so it takes me a while to get them straight.
Surely not some grand conspiracy between them all. Surely?
“Needs more robot rape!” is now the ultimate literary criticism.