[Review] THOT Audition (Alpha Blue); Ultratelluric Tarantino

[Adventure]
THOT Audit (2018)
Zoltar Khan Delgado (Kor’Thalis Publishing)
Summary: (Reservoir Dogs + Pulp Fiction + From Dusk Till Dawn) * Alpha Blue

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To continue in the space-vein we picked up after Thief of Whispers considered doing an SWN-conversion of B2 in the previous post, which I think we can all agree is an absolute necessity, THOT Audit is an adventure for Alpha Blue, courtesy of Kor’Thalis publishing. I wanted to go to the pharmacy and pick up my heart-medication but I found the prescription I absolutely needed had vanished along with my passport and had been replaced with a usb-drive containing a pdf-file of THOT Audit and a note that said “You’ll get em back hoss. In the meantime would you mind writing a review? Don’t take too long. Time is ticking haha VS.”

At this point in the Federation’s history, 2374 standard years, one out of six female lifeforms engage in some kind of sexual activity in exchange for monetary
compensation. That’s a lot of exploitation!

The Federation crackdown on sex-work came as no surprise. However, even the most fanciful of economists never guessed a tax rate of 69%. And it’s long been recognized that hos within the Federation rarely declare their income.

The totalitarian regime realized it could kill two birds with one stone – enforce the draconian tax laws to pay for their ceaseless expansion throughout the universe
while reducing the number of females succumbing to a life of prostitution.

So, the lovely working girls in the Alpha Blue universe are being audited by the Federation…

THOT Audit is a 16-page module for Alpha Blue inspired by a real life event taking place in late 2018, when a selfless band of concerned citizens took it upon themselves to assist the IRS in claiming its just desserts from a plethora of camgirls, e-gold diggers and other assorted species of parasite, to much wailing and bemoaning of the pink and fluffy corners of the internet. Unfortunately this module is not about a team of heroic Judge-Dredd esque auditors fighting to preserve the moral purity of their great space nation from the depredations of gold-digging space hoes but a band of criminals who steal a cargo-vessel with the passengers still on board only to have it boarded by Federation troopers. The rest of the adventure presumably unfolds like an R-rated Tarantino movie, with the characters attempting to evade death at the hands of the troopers whilst various colorful sleazebags reveal their own agendas, and also lots of dirty dirty sex ending in a shootout.

THOT Audit begins by giving everyone some reasons for being on Beeblebrox Prime [1] and hijacking a ship, which are fairly entertaining: You yourself did a little sex-work on the side. Somehow, you were caught up in the THOT audit and now owe the Federation High Council 2d100 blowjobs or else imprisonment on Cygnus Alpha. 

The module seems suited for completion within a single session and can very well serve as a jumping off-point for future space-sleaze, which is in keeping with the spirit of Alpha Blue. It starts off in medias res. A surface-to-orbit missile strike disables the freighter and it is now about to be boarded. You have also just discovered there is about 20.000 credits worth of the purest Blue Crystal [2] onboard. You have received word that your buddies are on their way and will be there within 2 hours. The federation troopers have just docked, there are 3 of them. Go.

I have a few gripes with this scenario. The first is that as written the Troopers have a minor advantage in hit points and armor in first level PCs but there is no clear indication that they can’t just hole up at the front entrance and blast their way out. The module works best if the PCs are forced to explore the ship in an effort to evade the troopers and find some sort of advantage. The troopers are differentiated from eachother by ability but I would have liked some flavorful differentiation as well (like, say, one sporting a ‘fro and wearing armor that says ‘Bad Motherfucker’ on it) since they are to serve as the primary antagonists.

My second gripe is the structure of the ship does not allow for evasion. The ship is laid out like the millenium Falcon, with a ringshaped walkway with doors leading off into different, unconnected rooms. There is a massive Premium-snapchat centre building in the centre, which can be entered from 4 different directions. If the troopers stick together (which they tend to do as the module informs us), holing up in any one room will generally mean you get boxed in pretty quickly (with the exception of rooms 5 & 6, which are connected directly as well as via the walkway. It is not GAMEBREAKING, the troopers would presumably sweep the ship in a clockwise motion, giving your PCs opportunity to hide and/or stay ahead of them for some type of cat and mouse game but the possibilities are limited. Or perhaps you will simply be captured and will have to talk your way out of the situation or resort to some form of trickery.

The myriad NPCs are otherwise well done. There is a federation spy among the THOTs, a space princess moonlighting as a porn-starlet is preparing for a murderous rampage and is being hunted by a replicant prostitute assassin, a Punk Porn Star who wants to give the PCs control of the ship “…because anarchy,” a telepathic cartel alien, a delegation of Klyngons riven with factional infighting and a degenerate gambler named Frank with a million credit debt and a bounty hunter with a Haley Joel Osment tattoo. The mixture of NPCs is colourful and brimming with volatile potential (and sleaze obviously).

I guess I could gripe about the references to various factions in the Alpha Blue universe being described in later supplements but since most of the factions in AB are references to existing science fiction IP I can’t really see that being much of a problem. Did you get the reference to the Albino Klyngon Koq? Atta, boy!

The room contents are appropriately sleazy, accompanied by computer-generated porn art reminiscent of Mass Effect (Ass Effect?). Glory holes with random occupants, chicks getting stuck “half-way” while repairing the engine, a space diversity and inclusion seminar and a meeting of panicky THOT investors that might end with them deciding to do anything from throwing a party and getting black out drunk to executing every audited THOT (or both)! The potential for comedy content is pretty high with this one.

The module ends with a list of possible Alerts (say, Rainbow Alert if you get a diversity related hazard) or Condition Alpha Blue if there is a potential for extreme sleaziness. There’s a little sub-table for determining the outcome of pussy power checks (i.e your ability to pick up dudes if you are playing as a THOT, which I don’t know if I recommend).

THOT Audit is pretty funny and works well as a volatile single-session scenario with a minimum amount of tinkering, providing plenty of surprising and awkward surprises to what will undoubtedly be a group of exclusively male players. If you are easily offended by political incorrectness or nudity you should probably not get this but then again you should probably just fuck off of the internet anyway. As it stands, THOT Audit is a fun, explosive and characteristically messy scenario more reminiscent of Fiasco then Dnd with plenty of possible solutions that should make for interesting replay value…if you can stomach the porny thematics.

It’s a good set-up with a decent execution with some minor flaws, and more coherent then the 2018 Venger Modules I have checked out as of late. For a PWYW adventure of this genre, I’d give it about a 7 out of 10.

THOT audit is PWYW so you can check it out yourself here. The recommended price of about 2-3 bucks seems on point.

[1] A planet that is in the throes of civil revolt as a result of the new tax.
[2] Space meth.