[No-Artpunk] #13 Monk, Lizard, Cow

Monk, Lizard, Cow
Zed
B/X
Lvl 1 – 2
10 pages

A spirited low level entry from Zed, newcomer to the OSR bloggosphere. Monk, Lizard, Cow takes place in the catacombs of a ruined monastery dedicated to the 12 signs of the zodiac, long since abandoned and overrun by successive waves of looters, bandits, tribes of hostile humanoids and weird monsters.

Mythic Underworld. To some it is just a word. To others it is a sacred code. Monk, Lizard, Cow succeeds in channeling that 0e DnD feel of the Ruin, a place that once held a purpose but has now been reclaimed by the forces of Chaos, overrun by tribes of chaotic creatures, inhabited by monsters, and still possessed of some old, lingering powers from a civilization not our own. It reminded me of last year’s slightly stronger Warlock Tower, and that’s not just the maps. You get a blurred image of something that used to be a place, details hinting at its true nature. Mummified monks in repose, animating when their ossuary is looted. A single tomb, decorated with a tale of monk who has reached enlightenment, placing him beyond the state of undeath. An adjoining cave, inhabited by Troglodytes hunting giant Geckos, and somewhere a Shrieker. The 12 signs of the zodiac hint at the occult, potentially very strong.

At the same time MLC is, not unatmospheric, but like Warlock tower there is no strong underlying concept. Not everything can be the temple of elemental evil. It would be perfect for placement in a wilderness hexcrawl, as a ruin that is interesting, rewarding and certainly hazardous to explore, but of no particular significance to the world at large. I mentioned Beastmaker Mountain as almost the epitome of this type of writing.

D10 rumor table that’s…decent. Most of the rumors relate to the inhabitants of the ruin, and some to the weirdness therein. Consider adding rumors relating to possible treasures, also, consider adding rumors relating to some special feature of some of the inhabitants. I.e. the Orcs will spare anyone that can make them laugh, it is said the minotaur fears the all powerful Word of Curse or whatever.

The one unique feature, which I must confess is somewhat underutilized, is the idea that there are twelve rooms in the dungeon, each keyed to a special sign of the Zodiac, and each providing a +1 bonus to a single saving throw if the character is born under it and -1 if the character is of an opposing sign. I like the idea of rooms of special significance that are somehow connected to someone’s star sign but the saving throw bonus is a bit underwhelming. If figuring out some property or attribute of the twelve rooms would have been the key to finding some sort of hidden vault or triggering some sort of mystery this would have elevated the dungeon.

Hell yeah, good map.

Map is good, note multiple entrances and exits, perhaps consider the possibility of discovering some of these entrances from the overworld, but the impulse is good. Good use of verticality, ledges, stairways, secret doors leading to areas that could otherwise not be explored, stuck doors, locked doors. It feels a bit croweded. This is less an artifact of the frequency, which is actually about right, and more one of size. You will have a group of bandits and 30 feet down the hall there is a room with giant spiders. A band of Gnome treasure hunters holing up in a secret door with a Black Dragon 80 ft. down the hall. It’s not egregious but everything feels slightly too close together. A 5 troglodytes hunting geckos in Cave 23, and then a tribe of troglodytes in cave B. The impulses are good but the cave is maybe 60 by 80 ft.?

Random encounter frequency is not mentioned and so must be assumed to be standard. There is a single sentence describing what each party or creature is doing which is good enough, giving you a prompt. Fairly large groups, 2d4 gnomes and a giant ferret, 1d6+1 troglodytes on the hunt, Silent Procession of 1d4+1 Zombie monks that will not attack unless disturbed. It does again mean that you are likely going to need either a big party or one that has had 1 or two adventures under its belt, or else they are going to be short forays.

Encounters are standard dungeon dressing, the unique slot is disdainfully ignored, but are actually pretty strong. Everything is doing something, placement makes sense (the orcs hole up somewhere and have, gasp, a sentry-post) and there’s some interesting permutations. Room 3, immediately a fucking Bear, but it’s probably going to be asleep, a group of zombie monks only attacks if you loot the reliquary, there’s a YOUNG BLACK DRAGON with the largest hoard. Shriekers, Boars, giant rats, giant spiders, A FUCKING MINOTAUR, someone is using every part of the animal. There are hints of underlying relations, the Minotaur is telegraphed by encountering several smashed bodies of troglodytes, the gnome treasure hunters buy gemstones for silver. I think some notes on organization could have beefed this up a bit: A few notes on whether on how the Orcs respond if you get into a fight in one of the rooms, maybe a note on what the Troglodytes do if you actually do end up talking to them (if you use the encounter rolls) etc. etc. There’s also no ambushes, which is not a great loss but might be considered. Tiny details, like having the minotaur polish skulls piled up in its lair, are appreciated and give color to the whole.

Trap use and frequency is good. Subtle telegraphing, like footsteps around the rim of a room with pit traps, or clever placement, like a pit right behind a stuck door, keeps people on their toes. I notice monster hoards are very seldom trapped, which one might want to consider every once in a while, but in general, the principle of ‘no free lunch’ is maintained, and treasure is either concealed, trapped or guarded, with usually some combination of both.

There’s a few instances of the weird that I want to point out. Burning incence before the hideous three-eyed god idol means a cowled dead monk shows up next time and offers the party a ring. A lone skeleton chain to a wall that, if freed, will grant the party a gold ring in gratitude. Little things like that can add a lot of variety. It’s not overused.

Treasure is…alright, and ample, even if hauling it all away is unlikely. You do get the gems worth 1000 gp but it’s interspersed with minotaur tools, animal skins, an expired potion of healing, votive statues, a skull plated with gold etc. etc. Consider giving everything a bit of window dressing, it adds a drip of color. Magic item placement is also almost exactly right, mostly scrolls and potions with a handful of more permanent magic items which are fairly hard to obtain. Maybe also consider the odd, valuable but heavy treasure, or alternatively the, appears valuable but is actually worthless treasure, or its reverse, the valuable treasure that appears at first glance, to be worthless.

This is a good, if standard dungeon, I like it. I’d urge you to use the allotted slots for invention to maximum effect, consider a greater deal of organization, implementing the concept of the Zodiac more strongly but otherwise good job, I’d have no problem plonking this in my campaign somewhere for people to explore. Maybe also consider using keys or switches or something that means that characters will have to double back later and explore other areas. I would be interested to see what you could do with a larger area and a higher level range.