Announcing the Victors of the 2022 No Artpunk Competition

HAIL NOARTPVNKMAN

After a heroic struggle, wherein warriors from all over the OSR came to match their skills, to discuss, display, educate and teach the power of the TRVSR through the mystery of No Artpunk, the time has come to render a verdict. But first, some ruminations (if you will permit me).

Overall quality and performance this year.
This year saw both an increase in participants (from 19 to 23!) and I would venture even in the average quality of the contributions. Given my somewhat lackadaisical efforts at promoting No Artpunk II, I think this may be chalked up as a success, and I would like to thank the legions of anonymous volunteers, the gentlemen of the tenfootpole.org forums, the grandees of the Aaron the pedantic discord server, the fighting uruk-hai of the /osrg cohort, the fifth columnists working behind the shadows on the reddit pages and of course any loyal readers for spreading the word and keeping the fires lit. No Artpunk lives through the efforts of a hobby’s earnest practioners and you have made this possible probably more so then I.

On the purpose of No Artpunk
There has understandably been some confusion (deliberate or otherwise) as to the purpose and direction of No Artpunk, particularly by its more butthurt detractors, so it is worth stating unequivocally.

The OSR, a movement once dedicated to rediscovering and playing Old school games, is losing its way and in places has become diluted beyond recognition. In addition, this lack of focus has given rise to strains that forsake, often deliberately, any connection with the earlier material that it owes everything to and bereft of its own direction, must resort to the mummery of artwork, spiffy layout, trick writing and all other manner of unwholesome conceits to ensnare prospective practioners with promises of short-lived fancy. The craft of adventure writing and indeed the practice of making material that is actually suitable for play, ressurected by the tireless efforts of those who have come before, is now once again threatened with extinction.
By this contest I hope to revitalize its original spirit of hobbyist action, to incentivize newcomers to forsake the watered down ultra-lite nonsense passed off as the genuine article and instead learn about the game that is the wellspring and cornerstone of the OSR, to restore forthright and open discussions about the merits of games that have been rendered impossible by a crop of censorious entryists, to strike back against the cyncial commercialism and the grifter culture that has accumulated around the osr like so many unpleasant fungal growths but above all TO INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF GOOD ADVENTURES IN THE HOBBY AND TEACH PEOPLE TO MAKE THEM THEMSELVES. This contest is open to all who wish to hone their skills and match blades in the arena of Old D&D.

Because this is an exercise in going back to the source, I ask contestants to use the old systems, I (in all but the most minor of ways) restrict them to the extant library of official material, which is already immense, so the contestant is forced to integrate his creativity into an extant framework and engage the game on its own terms. If we go by the metric of Tenfootpole or the Verdict of the great Gabor Lux, and compare the quality of these volunteer entries with some of the slop that is passed off as quality these days then ask yourself if I might not have a point.

The Verdict

Because of the increase in participants and the generally excellent quality of the contributions this year, I have decided to proportionally increase the number of finalists from 8 to 10 for this particular iteration. As previously stated, the winner of the contest shall receive a copy of the Helveczia boxed set, generously donated by the great Gabor Lux. The valiant runner up receives a copy of the latest Echoes of Fomalhaut zine, a fitting reward for exemplary performance.

Let us begin

X
Shrine of the Small God – It was a tossup between Bergummo’s Tower and Shrine of the Small God and they have some similarities and I will probably toss and turn over which one is better but all things considered Shrine presents a more naturalistic backdrop for some of its puzzles and the presence of explorers renders the whole somewhat more dynamic and the meso-american atmosphere is charming, even if it can be a bit on the hard side and it is a yet another evil entity awakens plot.

IX
Under Mt. Peikon. I would have probably rated Under Mt. Peikon much higher if it was not so damnably ideosyncratic, but if it were any less ideosyncratic it would be much less strong. Skirting perilously close to a ban, and leaving all but a few of DnD’s sacred cows unmolested, the engine of Mt. Peikon is a fertile, unconventional mind, combined with a quixotic boldness and the soul of an emperor. The result is something that is still the module equivalent of a shaped nuclear blast but it IS runnable and I simply could not live with myself for not including it.

VIII
The Carcass of Hope – It was a very close finish between this and Folly of the Fox. Folly of the Fox has the more elegant main dungeon, but suffers from many problems with its gazzteer, to say nothing of compatibility problems with its historical premise. Carcass of Hope conversely, almost feels like it came through a rather indiscriminate editing process but for all that its surrounding elements are great and its central dungeon is still very solid. Both are laudably ambitious. I am picking the Berserk/Black company vibe over Dostoevsky.

VII
The Arcane Font of Hrannad Zuul – As far as low level AD&D goes, AFoHZ is roided up on the AD&D mythical underworld and feels at times almost to strain against it level limits and size, with its powerful treasure, factions and deadly FUCK YOU encounters. Imagery, challenge, foreshadowing, riddles, it kind of does it all.

VI
Lair of the Brain Eaters – This is about the point where excuses are no longer really neccessary as Lair of the Brain Eaters is a delightful low level dungeon adventure with some great atmosphere, some nasty tricks and a good helping of the ole’ ultra-violence. It is more straightforward then most, but it is fun and makes very little mistakes.

V
Ship of Fate – Ambition and fidelity are two watchwords that we value highly in No Artpunk and thus it is refreshing to see an entry that aims to explore the higher reaches of what makes for a game of DnD. Ship of Fools is by no means perfect but it represents something few others have the skill or balls to do, create a solid adventure for characters of levels 10-14.

IV
Stirring of the Slumbering God – This is really where the gloves come off and people start aiming for the stars. Stirring of the Slumbering God is an atmospheric tour de force that nevertheless keeps its feet embedded (although barely) in the core of AD&D. Timelines, atmospheric effects, awakening gods, factions, cunning traps, all of it with a highly distinct sort of atmosphere. Not flawless, but delightful.

III
No Art Punks – Despite some minor transgressions in the item department, it is hard to get around how good NAP is. The various layers, inhabitants and dangers of the sea cave all call to mind the excitement of classic AD&D, which can be merciless as well as light hearted. At this point any drinking game involving the theme of the rising of some ancient power would likely have fatal results, so I will just raise a glass to its general excellence instead.

II
Alchemystyk Hoosegow – AH strikes me as about as close to pure AD&D we have gotten in this competition without straying grossly outside the parameters of the contest (Trent!). It eschews the usual plot of a rising evil and instead provides us with multiple connected locations, a variety of threats and challenges, a semi-plausible eco-system and then below it a location that is more immediately fantastical and laced with fiendish puzzles. It is also examplary in its reward of skilled and careful play.

I
Skalbak Sneer – It came upon the contest suddenly, like a flash flood or a freak storm. Mr. Gieseke took risks with his adventure and he clearly put in the effort to make it work. Skalbak Sneer is an absolute gauntlet of a module, cunning, punishing and relentless, yet never unfair. Spec Ops D&D has a new contender for the throne, and what a glorious contender it is! Congratulations on a well deserved victory!

Some other entries of note: There are 3 entries I considered including but eventually declined, although there were plenty of other good dungeons among the entries. Tower of Tonpeki is certainly good enough to be within the ballpark range of the top 10 but its use of an ineligable system must weigh against it rather heavily. I hope to include it in the compendium volume. Spears of the Northmen was also seriously considered but eventually not selected because its main strength lies in the sublime hex crawl portion leading up to it and its actual dungeon component, which was the focus of the contest was comparatively weak. The aforementioned Folly of the Fox represents a laudable effort and the central dungeon was actually quite strong but the surrounding framework didn’t quite gell with the contest parameters atop of some other weaknesses. I hope to include each in Compendium and would encourage the authors to go for standalone publication, as they are all three more then good enough.

Well-earned praise to the victors. Well earned praise to the finalists. And well earned praise to the other contestants, young and old, neophyte and veteran, for an overal terrific performance. You have done the OSR proud.

Statistics:
For whom it might interest.

No Artpunk I: 19 entries
Generic OD&D/mongrel D&D – 4
(B/X)/OSE – 4
ACKS – 1
Rules Cyclopedia – 2
WWN – 1
LL (Advanced Edition Companion) – 1
AD&D – 5
S&W – 1

Disqualified entries: 1 (retracted), 1(egregious violation of contest parameters), 1 (incomplete)

Finalist Spread:
ACKS – 1
LL (Advanced Edition Companion) – 1
Generic OD&D/mongrel D&D – 1
B/X – 1
AD&D – 3 {Runner up}
S&W/OD&D – 1 {Winner}

No Artpunk II: 23 entries
Hideous shitbrew mutant D&D – 2
OD&D – 1
AD&D 1e – 10
Ruins & Ronin – I
WWN – I
(B/X)/OSE – 5 III
OSE (Advanced Fantasy Edition) – I

Disqualified entries: 1(incomplete), 1(incompatible system), 1(egregious violation of contest parameters)

Finalist Spread:
OSE/(B/X) – 2 {winner}
AD&D – 8 {Runner-up}

Numerous infractions have increased for magic item use, particularly for AD&D. This might be an indiciation that the limit is too stringent. This will be reviewed for the next contest.

From 19 to 23 represents a nice 20% growth. A promising increase from the initial pool, especially considering the last minute drop out of some of the Year one contestants. Also I felt the overal strength of the pool, which was already formidable in the 1st ordeal, was equal, or even slightly stronger this year.
Interesting to see a growth in the proportion of AD&D entries, though given the available library, this should come as no suprise. I am considering being much more specific on which books may be used with which systems, and to make a definitive ruling about porting over items and monsters.

There are some OSR tomes that would be terrific additions to the contest library but at the same time such exercises threaten to open the floodgates to heterodoxy and soon the great work threatens to be undone once more. The permission of these will be discussed and ruminated upon, and if they are permitted, then only a very small amount of tomes should be released each year, so as to retain consistency.

A splendid showing on all fronts. Look to the halls of Drivethru and the boutiques of Itch.io for the upcoming volume. And happy gaming to all!

Update: This response from the fighting Urukhai merits immortalization and a hearty chuckle.